I’m not going to say that the flight home from Vegas on Tuesday night was the worst flight I’ve ever had. Flight-wise, it was very comfortable. Not too bumpy, only two and a half hours, Home Warrior and I had a row to ourselves. But I will say that it was possibly the most annoying flight I have ever had, and that’s saying a lot. On the way home, I did the math. In the last three years I have been to Vegas six times: four for fun, two for work. And I’ve seen drunk people on the flights home, for sure. I’ve even indulged myself a few times.
But seriously, friends. I knew there was a problem when I saw the flight attendant heading past me with the second tray of liquor bottles. The entire three rows behind us got tanked. I mean, screaming, hysterically laughing, yelling…..and what I thought was the cap to the whole thing: once we landed, they broke into song. “You Don’t Have to Call Me Darlin'” by David Allen Coe. Now, I actually really enjoy this song. It reminds me of the end of the night at bars with close friends, weddings here in Texas, and other fun events. But now I will forever remember it as the drunk guy’s song from the plane.
Didn’t I say I thought the singing was the cap? I was wrong. Once we got on the bus to take us to the off-site parking, the last person to stumble on board was, you guessed it, the singing guy. He couldn’t remember where he was parked, slurred his words when talking, and tried to take another guy’s suitcase. Wow. The bus driver said to him, “Sir, can I get you a cup of coffee or something?” But the guy wouldn’t have it. When he got off the bus, one of the women said, “I don’t think he should be driving…..” I agree!
Now, I’m all for having a good time. And I love wine, and margaritas, and Baily’s. But please, think of your fellow passengers, and yourself. Remember that booze affects you more when you’re in the air than on the ground, you still have to drive home, and there are other people on the plane who are tired and want to rest and NOT HEAR YOU SING BAR SONGS AT 1AM.
Stepping off soapbox now.