This past weekend some good friends came into town. As we were hugging hello, my friend said, “Have I got a story for you!!” And boy, was she right. For the sake of the story, we will call these friends John and Jane.
John and Jane were flying in from California, with a layover in the middle. They got on board the second leg, found their seats, and were settling in with their one-year old son when a man sat in front of them. He noticed a woman coming on board and yelled, “Hey there! Weren’t you at the bar a few minutes ago? Come sit over here!” The woman came and sat, and they started talking loudly about their homes and spouses. Jane remembers thinking, Oh great, drunk people. Hope they don’t wake the baby up! Of course, if it had ended there it wouldn’t be so interesting. While the plane was taxiing, the woman scooted over so she was sitting right next to the man. During takeoff, they started making out. And once the seat belt sign went off (you may have guessed this part) they went into the bathroom…..together.
The flight was only about a third full, so it was pretty apparent to a lot of people what was going on. In fact, the woman sitting across from them was so offended that she told a flight attendant, who then went and banged on the bathroom door. Which of course did nothing. John kept an eye on his watch, and by his count it was a good fourteen minutes before the man came out and sat down, with the woman following soon after. To make the story even worse, or sadder, or whatever, once they arrived and got off the plane, John went into the bathroom at the airport. He thought he was alone, until he heard a cell phone ring, and heard the guy from the plane talking to a friend. “No, we arrived on time. I’m just in the bathroom, hiding out from a woman I banged on the airplane.” <<Facepalm.>>
Not surprisingly, I have a lot of thoughts about this situation. First of all, I know that the mile-high club exists, but it would never occur to me that people would try to join on a 60 minute daytime flight. It seems like something that lends itself more to overnight flights, when people are sleeping. Or at least can’t see what’s really going on. Second, airplane bathrooms are tiny and super gross. I tried to figure out the mechanics, but it made my brain hurt so I let it go. And then the flight attendant banging on the door in the middle? I’m trying not to think about the part that they’re married…..to other people. Oy.
In all my flights, I have never seen anything like this. Maybe because I try to tune out the people around me, or because I’m always reading my book or working. But it makes me wonder–is this common? Have you guys ever noticed anything like this going on?
(P.S. The Home Warrior wanted me to call this post “Snakes on a Plane.” I laughed hysterically but couldn’t do it.)
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