Pro tip: Don't Drink Too Much While Flying. You Could Get Arrested!

I love wine. Like, I love it a lot. I love the taste of it and the way it makes me feel. But, I also recognize that drinking too much of it can lead to unfortunate situations, so I know when not to overindulge. Alas, on a recent flight home from London Heathrow to DFW I witnessed not one, but two of those “unfortunate situations.”

So, to start, the guy in front of me seemed to be having nice conversation with lady next to him. He was also steadily drinking more and more. After several hours I noticed he was belligerently drunk and loud. Like, so loud that as I drifted off to sleep I remember thinking, omg that guy is so loud, is he bothering that lady??

I woke up maybe two hours later and he was STILL incredibly loud, but I noticed the lady was gone. Then I saw two flight attendants picking up her stuff and taking it to the back of the plane. The lady never returned, and I can only assume that he was so annoying while I was asleep that she asked to be moved.

The guy continued yelling for a little while then quieted. Then I heard him say to his colleague across the aisle (because evidently he was on a work trip, I can’t. even.) that he was embarrassed and that there may be authorities waiting for him when we landed

Sure enough, when we landed the pilot came over the loudspeaker and asked everyone to stay in our seats, as the police had to come onboard to deal with an incident that occurred during the flight. The cops came, asked him to stand up, and he went cooperatively.

But that wasn’t all. I mean, that was all for that first guy. But the drama continued.

Throughout the flight the gentleman sitting next to me was perfectly polite. We chatted for a couple of hours about a variety of topics, then I started watching movies and fell asleep. I noticed that he was drinking consistently throughout the flight but he never appeared drunk to me, and certainly not in the way of the guy in front of us.

However. As the police took the first guy away, my seatmate mumbled, “Welcome to the dystopian future.” I was texting with my husband so not really paying attention. We get off the plane, he meets up with his wife (who was traveling in business class because she was on a work trip), and they proceed up the walkway while I trail about ten feet behind. Again, I’m not really paying attention but I see that there is a pilot walking near them–not sure if it was one of our pilots (doubtful) or just one catching a ride. But what I do notice is my seatmate staggers, then rights himself and starts yelling at the pilot. I couldn’t understand exactly what he was saying except for the F word liberally sprinkled throughout his diatribe.

The pilot asks if everyone was trashed out of their minds on that flight, then says the guy can’t talk to him like that and calls security. A few minutes later after I’ve visited the ladies’ room I see that the man and his wife are, in fact, talking to police. And the saddest part to me was the wife was completely horrified, taken aback, and kept whispering to him to ask why he was acting so crazy.

Moral of the story–the booze may be free you still need to remember: don’t drink too much on your flight! And certainly don’t drink heavily for the full ten hours. You could end up getting arrested at the end of your flight!

Readers, any stories to share about passengers who had a little too much fun?

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